How do you skip the first three levels of rapport and get to the one that really matters? You know, the stage where people trust you completely enough for them to buy from you?

In our last blog, we talked about the first three levels of rapport building. They are the non-verbal techniques like projecting body language (such as how you shake hands), and then about mirroring your prospect (their breathing rate, how they talk, the tone of their voice, and the types of words they use).

The fourth level of rapport is sharing values and beliefs. It is at this level that you establish friendships that are deep and meaningful. It is also at this level that making sales becomes easy because your prospects trust you.

Where we left off in the last blog was looking at the one type of person that gets to the fourth level of rapport quickly. That person is the “con-artist.”

Can we learn something from them? Obviously, we want to do what they do, but in an ethical way.

What a con-artist often does to gain trust is to “tell a secret” to their prospect. Not an ordinary secret, but a reveling secret that exposes their soft underbelly. Something that they would be ridiculed for if the wrong people found out about this fact. At that point, the prospect sees how vulnerable they are, and wants to help them protect their secret.

Why? Because the prospect has their own skeletons that haunt them, and they are seeking relief by exposing them to someone that will help them protect them. That “someone” has to be a person that shares something similar.

In other words, both the con-artist and the prospect have the same type of skeleton-in-the-closet secret. And it is of the same magnitude.

What Skeletons Are In Your Closet?


There is something similar to a deep-dark — “skeleton-in-the-closet” — secret. What is it? Well, to be honest, this will sound so simple. But it is actually very profound. In fact, so profound that many people do not realize it.

The other thing that is a secret and that influences others are those “values” or “ideals” that we hold dear to. Often times, these are like a secret, because if they were exposed, we would open ourselves up to ridicule.

For example, how often do you see a businessman openly display his political party affiliation in his business? Right. Almost never. And you probably haven’t been shouting out your party affiliation on your business’ website either, right?

But what if that other salesman secretly told you in private? And you discovered that you and he shared the same political affiliation. At that point, you have some instant trust with him.

Let’s change the situation a little bit. What if his political affiliation became public knowledge? Does anything change? The effect is probably exactly the same, because you haven’t shared your own political affiliation with anyone.

Here is a real-life example. In 2010, when the Obamacare debate was going on, the CEO of Whole Foods came out against the proposed law. The effect was almost immediate. Many of his previous supporters were shocked at his views. But many people on the other side of the aisle were over-joyed to hear him come out and support their opposition to Obamacare. With those people, he gained instant credibility, and instant trust. I myself felt this type of trust for the man. Why? Because he was able to shout out what I had been feeling myself, but never expressed publicly.

The formula for Instant Customer Rapport


Therefore, the one formula for gaining rapport (instantly) is to share a deep secret, which is a “value” or an “ideal” that you hold near and dear. But to be effective in gaining rapport, the person you’re reveling this information to must have the same belief, and it must not have been openly and previously expressed.

Write that formula down, because it will make you a million bucks by jumping to Level 4 in the rapport building process. You’ll close your sales quicker and with less effort. I probably shouldn’t have told you that formula, but I did because I think you’re a lot like me, and I want to see you succeed.

Let me give you an example of this rapport building tactic, just so you know absolutely what I’m talking about.

Say I tell you I despise people that waste my time and show up late for appointments, which is one of my values, since I place a high value on my time. And say that you value this same trait, but that you’ve never expressed it to anyone for fear that you might be ridiculed by other people. So if we ever met each other, you would probably have a fondness for me based solely on this value. For you, it is like looking at yourself in the mirror. You like the “values” that are being reflected back at you.

But if you had expressed this same view in public before we had met, you probably wouldn’t view me with the same fondness. There is some small amount of liking, but not with the same intensity you would have if you never told anyone your preference. Why is that? Because maybe I had done some detective work and found out you had this same value. So telling you some publicly available information is not the same as telling you one of your private secrets. Right?

This is almost like mind reading, isn’t it?

The technique of sharing your secret values to gain instant trust – and I do mean “instant” – seems to be something that few people know about. Except of course, the con-artists. Maybe other people do know about it. But sharing your secret comes with a huge risk. Immense, in fact. As the CEO of Whole Foods found out, his core customers were shocked to here that he didn’t support Obamacare, so they immediately said that they were going to boycott his business.

That kind of risk, of alienating your regular customers, is too much for most businessmen to take a chance on. They are barely getting by in the weak economy, so they don’t want to take the chance of losing what they’ve already got.

But there is another option. For example, consider this…

What if you could eliminate your risk of telling your secret “values” to the wrong person? That way, you’re only telling it to someone that will keep the secret safe.

In that case, you are gaining the positive benefit of sharing it with someone that also holds this value dear to their heart. And the goons that would cause you grief, are not told your secret. Could anything be better than this situation?

How do you know who to tell your secret to, and who to ignore? Don’t you have to know in advance that the person you want to tell your secret to will agree with you? Obviously, yes. You have be able to read the values of your prospect before you spill the beans on them

And this is totally possible. The values that people hold near-and-dear are dependant on their type of personality. And they leak out, and are easily visible for everyone to see.

Fortunately for us, these values have been cataloged for the last 50 years by psychologists. They wanted to help people with specific personal problems, but the same information can be used to pre-screen them to see if they will be agreeable to our technique of gaining trust. In effect, it takes nearly all the risk out of telling the wrong type of person our secret values.

Is this manipulation? Nope. We’re only screening people. The ones that don’t fit the profile are ignored. Why ignore them? Because there are so many people that do agree with you, that you really don’t need to take this information and manipulate people. You can sleep well at night knowing that you are truly helping the people that desire to be helped. This information just allows you to find them faster, and to jump right to Level 4 in the rapport building strategy, skipping levels 1 through 3.

Where can you find this information? Just go to That is my marketing site that will help you to sell faster and quicker, and in a way that you’ll feel good about doing. And it is not manipulation; it is a quick filtering strategy so you can get to the perfect customers for your products and services.

Review: How to Get To Level 4 In Customer Rapport Building?


To review, this article gave you the “secret” to building rapport quickly and easily. You don’t need to go through the first three levels of building rapport, where you match the prospect’s body language, tone of voice, and then mirror the words that they use. That is very time consuming, and hard to do because it requires you to have two goals at once (mirroring, and selling).

Instead, you can go right to sharing values with them, which is the forth and deepest level of rapport that you can reach. This is the same level of rapport that you have with your family and your close personal friends.

The “secret” to doing this is to share your secrets with your prospects. These are things like what are your values or ideals that are not already known to your prospect. But this can be risky, especially if the person you share them with doesn’t agree with your values and ideals for how they live their life. The solution to this is to “pre-screen” the prospect to find out what values you have in common. This sounds hard, but “values reading” is actually much easier to accomplish than reading body language. And in most cases, it can be done within about 30 seconds of coming into contact with them. The cool thing is that you can use this same technique on the internet where you don’t actually physical meet the prospect.

In conclusion, to learn more about how to read a person’s values, so that you can sell your products faster and easier, visit


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